Atlanta Hits a Low Note

American Idol's stop last night in Atlanta was the last in its nationwide search for The Next Big Thang. In the past Atlanta has produced some mild-to-major talent (Fantasia "Where Is She Now?" Barrino, Clay Aiken aka Mr. Broadway, and Miss Oscar Winner Jennifer Hudson) but can lightning stike four times? OK, so technically it isn't even supposed to strike twice, but I was optimistic. Turns out I had no reason to be.

Twelve thousand people showed up to croon for the judges, some as early as 4am (if I'm up at 4am it's for one reason and one reason only...and I can assure you that these people were not in line for the same reason!). AI in the ATL turned out to be more like American Nightmare...and it just got worse and worse as the hour wore on. I was only impressed by three people, so it's those three that have the distinct pleasure of having earned a spot on this here recap. Congrats!

Tennessee's Josiah, 19, was my fave of the night. Josiah has been living out of his car for the better part of a year, traveling and playing shows (from what I saw/heard, this kid can really play the guitar...plus he's got that singer/songwriter/Jewel "living-in-my-car" thing going on, which would be awesome material for his E! True Hollywood Story someday...). My rabid readers will know that he violated one of my long-standing audition rules (Never Sing a Song of Your Own Composition) but for once, a self-written AI ditty wasn't that bad! The most interesting thing about Josiah's audition was the British accent that magically appeared once he started singing. I guess that's what happens when you listen to enough Coldplay! (I wonder what happens if you listen to a lot of The Chipmunks??). I can't imagine that the judges would have said no to a homeless kid (oh who am I kidding, Simon probably runs over small children on the road for sport) and happily, they let him through to Hollywood. I'm intrigued by Josiah, I dig his guitar skills and he just seems genuine. And, he can park his car at Venice Beach and...bam!...beach house!

Another of the hopefuls that struck a chord with me was Amanda, 22, from Indiana. Amanda is a nurse by day and biker by night. I can't really imagine this punked-out biker chick in scrubs, but crazier things have happened! She sang Janis Joplin's "Mean Woman", and FINALLY this season someone did Janis some justice. Simon wasn't really feeling it, though, and he asked her to sing another song. She chose CCR's "Travelin' Band", and nailed it. Amanda has this raspy voice that lends so well to classic rock...I love her! I admit, she might have some trouble with a 70's-themed night, but I guess we can cross that bridge if/when we get to it. For now, I'm a fan.

And lastly, American Idol managed to tug at the heartstrings of America last night with Asia, 18, a small town girl from Missouri. Two days before the Atlanta audition, Asia called her dad to tell him she was en route and shared her excitement with him. Thirty minutes later she gets a call from her brother with possibly the worst news a person can hear: her father was killed in a car crash. Somehow, Asia summoned up her personal stores of inner-strength and made it to the auditions, brave face and all, and sang LeAnn Rimes' "How Do I Live" in honor of her father. She kept her cool throughout, and her voice only cracked towards the very end, at which time the judges graciously told her she could stop. Asia has a good voice, strong will, and she was given a unanimous yes to Hollywood. She's definitely got my teary-eyed vote! I watch reality TV to escape life's harsh realities, dammit, I dont watch it to cry!! Lots of love to you, Asia....stay strong.

So, sadly, those were the only three from Atlanta that impressed me at all (which begs the question, why is Atlanta referred to as Hotlanta? If this is the best they got, I'm thinking that Coldlanta would be more appropriate...hell, even Patheticlanta...but that doesn't quite have the same ring, does it? Hmmmm...) The rest of the evening was filled with seemingly endless montages of horrible singers, and auditions from people who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. But what Atlanta lacked in vocal ability, they made up for in one-liners. Enjoy these tasty tidbits from some of Georgia's finest:

Josh, 26: "I have a passion for glass...if my music career took off, I would still wanna work with glass" -- Never fear, Josh...glass pipes are a favorite with the Hollywood crowd!!

JP, 24: "I really really wanna do this...I don't wanna do four years of school!" -- Well duh, JP! We'd all take the Peter Pan route if we could! Unfortunately it usually takes a modicum of talent...enjoy the next four years of lectures and midterms!

Eva, 26: "I have the look, the voice, the talent, everything" -- What she doesn't have? Balance. Eva fell flat on her arse in the middle of squawking out Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles", ironically after singing the line "staring blankly ahead"! Next time, Eva, remember to add "the equilibrium" to your list of abilities!

I am officially burnt out from AI auditions. The Hollywood round couldn't come soon enough. Next week should actually showcase some legitimate talent (though producers will still want to focus on the bottom-shelf talent and unintentional mistakes...ratings, ratings, ratings!) I, for one, am eager to see (hear?) what is in store. And in the meantime, I am going to give myself a much-needed break from reality TV. My eardrums need repair, and I've been neglecting my friends and family in my quest to not miss a second of anything AI related. See ya in Hollywood!

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Recent Entries:
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· Final Prediction
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[ READER COMMENTS ]

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Carly said:

Great recap!! You are too funny- can't wait to see what you have to say from Hollywood!

Posted at 01:33 PM, on February 7 2008

Atlanta Hits a Low Note

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