Hard Day's Night on Idol

Where do I begin??

First, allow me to say that I was a fan of The Beatles while still in my mama's belly. By 2 years old I could correctly identify all four members when shown their photographs, and over the course of my life I have thrown myself into the saga and history that is John, Paul, George, and Ringo. Their collaborative genius has been the footprint for my musical taste, and my all-time favorite songs are those given to us by the Lennon/McCartney duo. There are almost no words to describe my deep-rooted love (and borderline obsession!) with the Liverpool legends, so I was appropriately terrified when I learned that Sony released the Lennon/McCartney catalog for the Idol's to ruin, er, sing.

Granted, there have been some decent Beatles covers. Sarah Mclachlan did an amazing cover of "Blackbird" for the I Am Sam soundtrack (in fact, I'm gonna go out a journalistic limb here and suggest that you add that soundtrack to your collection if you havent already; its nothing but Beatles covers, and while some will have you scratching your head and wondering "why?", others will be worth the $9.99 plus delivery fee from Amazon.com), to name one. But American Idol?? Do ANY of these kids have the chops to deliver up some Beatles without makingo our ears bleed? I've been dreading the inevitable Beatles Night on AI and......I was right. Last night, Idol managed to defecate on The Beatles, England, puppies, rainbows, and everything that was good with the world. It was bad. Just bad.

I'll agree with my blogging buddies that Chikezie owned the night. I affectionately have been referring to him as Carlton (of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fame...c'mon, people, work with me here!!), but last night he shed all his horrible leisure-suit memories and, as McCartney himself might say, kicked arse. I Heart Chikezie!

Other notable performances (and the list is short, I assure you): Dreadlock Castro and his appropriately slimmed-down version of "If I Fell" (which is one of my favorite Beatles songs....tho I warn you, I seriously may say "this is one of my favorite Beatles songs" after I mentioned EVERY SINGLE BEATLES SONG. How can I not????). I almost enjoyed the orchestra arrangement more, tho....it was lovely. Ramiele sounded purty singing "In My Life" (again, a fave), the judges said it was boring and I tend to agree, but what else could she have done with it?? And, she had the ill-fated post-Chikezie spot in the lineup, so anything was gonna sound boring after that.

I may take a beating for this one, but I liked Amanda's performance last night of "You Cant Do That"! It was typically slurred and incoherent, but something about it....I dunno, I enjoyed it. Maybe her Elvira 'do is growing on me.....OK, nope, its not that. Maybe its just cus she seems so unaffected by the whole Idol train...I enjoy her aloofness. (Is that even a word?!)

I had figured that Brooke might sing "Blackbird" with her guitar, but instead she played piano to "Let It Be". My one gripe is with the arrangement...I would have rather had it without the heavy orchestra at the end. It wasnt meant to be big like that....its a simple song. But she seemed so genuine; her voice cracked like she was gonna cry, her eyes seemed so focused, I believed that she really felt the song. It was nice. Tho, I kinda wonder what it might have sounded like with an acoustic guitar....that could have been an interesting take on it. Yes? No?

And now....to the suckfest.

I didnt like Syesha singing "Got To Get You Into My Life". I just didnt buy it. It was cheesy, I missed the classic horn arrangement, it just didnt work for me. I realize I'm the minority here (its cool, I'm used to it), but thats just my 2 cents.

Let me say here and now that I did NOT like Carly and her performance of "Come Together". You dont pick "Come Together" to sing in a VOCAL competition. Whats next?? "Revolution #9"?!! Carly had the entire Lennon/McCartney Catalog-O-Brilliance at her disposal and she chose "Come Together". I just dont get it. I'm not saying her vocal was bad, so back off, kids....I'm just saying she could have made a better choice. Thats all. "Come Together" is cool and fun and probably a blast to perform, I just wanted something else. C'est la vie, I suppose.

David Cook and "Eleanor Rigby".....tsk tsk tsk. I dont think I like the Cookster. He seems cocky....just waaaaay to full of himself. Though you gotta hand it to him....after he was done, he totally sold the idea that he had just given an amazing performance - he was hopping around on stage, pumping his fists. He sold the idea that he gave a great performance and everyone responded. Well, everyone minus me. Smart way to whore yourself to the audience, David...but shame on the judges for buying it.

And then there was David Hernandez. (BTW, did you like how he mentioned his job at a pizza bistro and not at, well, you know?? I thought that was HI-larious!). He took "I Saw Her Standing There" and shat all over it. He ruined it. It was horrible. HORRIBLE! Oh God, I'm having flashbacks just writing about it. I'm gonna send him my therapist bill for the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder I now have to endure cus of him. Enjoy, David. Grrrrrrrr.

"Across The Universe" is, you guessed it, another of my favorite Beatles songs, and Michael Johns.....I dunno, it just didnt work for me. My biggest complaint is simply this: if you're gonna sing a song that the entire free world knows (or at least those of us with 2 brain cells) GET THE FRIGGIN' MANTRA RIGHT! He mispronounced "Jai Guru Deva Om", and it realllllllly bothered me. It was too Englebert Humperdinck for me (if you were born after, say 1985, you're not gonna get that reference. Sorry. Google him).

In the Beatles Hamburg days, Stu Sutcliffe played the bass with his back turned towards the audience; he was probably envisioning a country version of "Eight Days A Week" at the time. I'm still reeling from that one. Who can we blame for that? Kristy Lee Cook? Ricky Minor? I kept waiting for her to stop and giggle and say "just kidding". I'm telling you, America was Punk'd last night and we just dont know it yet. You watch, Ashton Kutcher is gonna end up on Seacrest's radio show laughing at us. Oh Lord, I just got the chills. Between Kristy and David, I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight!

And then there was Opie Archuleta. I'm so sad about this one! You all know I love Opie, but cmon...last night, it wasn't so much that he wasnt The Beatles, it was that he wasn't Stevie Wonder. This kid is Albino White....not to be confused with Barry. Unfortunately, he just didn't work it out. Not for me, anyway. I'm sorry, Opie! I'll still adopt you, though!

So that was it. A night of musical torture. I've been trying to wash the bitter taste out of my mouth by listening to Revolver and Abbey Road over and over again. I feel like writing a letter to Sir Paul Hisownself and apologizing on behalf of America....not all of us enjoy desecrating a sacred and adored catalog of songs, and I accept partial responsibility for the madness. Sorry!!

If I had to guess, I'd say Kristy is going home (you know somewhere backstage David was breathing a HUGE sigh of relief as she was performing!!). Lets see what songs Idol can ruin for us next week!!

Oh, before I sign off, lemme put it on record that I am officially disappointed that no one last night had the balls to sing "Strawberry Fields". That could have been a brilliant song choice, it really could have. Shame on you guys for not thinking of it! I guess thats why they pay me to think and you to sing, tho.....oooooh! Burn! Get back at me next week by picking good songs and then singing the hell outta 'em...that would be a welcome change!

OK, I'm officially done now. Back to Maxwell and his silver hammer.........

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Hard Day's Night on Idol

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