The Demise of Ryan Seacrest

Oh. My. God.

So, word around the gossip blogs is that Ryan Seacrest is dating Holly "Olly" Huddleston, one-half of the "Olly Girls" duo of E!'s Sunset Tan, a vomit-inducing reality show about an LA-area tanning salon that caters to Hollywood's hottest and apparently only employs women with fake boobs, hair, teeth, nails, personalities, ID's...you get the picture.

I dunno what shocks me more, the fact that Seacrest is dating a woman, or that of all the available women in LA, he chose Holly. Why, God, why??? This chick makes Britney Spears look like a friggin' Proust Scholar. And the worst part is, the fact that she could score someone like Seacrest (*cough*meal-ticket*cough*) only adds fuel to her tanning-bed-induced delusion that she belongs anywhere near Hollywood's hot players, when in fact the only place she belongs in is the Hooters in West Hollywood....I hear they have a killer hot wings special going on.

Oh, and apparently Holly has been seen backstage recently at American Idol tapings. This explains why Opie forgot the words to his song last week! I can see it now: Holly, in a drunken, Seacrest-enamored mania, flashed Opie mere seconds before he took the stage, and the poor 17-yr-old was still trying to shake the image of her tan-burned chest from his eyes as he faltered over his song lyrics! So, really, we can't hold that against him. Blame it all on Holly, folks.....Opie's bad performance, the failing economy, gas prices, the impetigo on Amy Winehouse's face, David Caruso's horrible acting....its all Holly's fault. Yyyyeah, good luck with that, Seacrest!

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The Demise of Ryan Seacrest

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