Wanted: Melinda Doolittle

Since no one seems to put missing people on milk cartons anymore, I'm forced to use the Internet as my search-and-rescue dog for Melinda Doolittle. Or, in the spirit of American Idol, I could get on a loudspeaker and sing out "Oh where, Oh where has Melinda gone, oh where, oh where could she beeeeeeee?"...but then the world would be forced to listen to me sing, and thats a fate no one should be forced to suffer. Still, I'm highly concerned here; has Melinda been abducted by aliens? Forced to join some kooky American Idol Rejects Cult? Taken captive by the same people that keep Michael Jackson's kids in hiding? (Seriously, where are those kids?? We NEVER see them! Its just weird!!).

Melinda was my favorite on AI last year, by far. She had that slightly-annoying-yet-somehow-endearing self-deprecating attitude, and she could SING. I cant recall one bad performance from her. I was sure she'd snag a record deal after finishing in 3rd place, but so far we've yet to see a CD from her. In fact, we've hardly heard a peep outta the one-time background singer since the show wrapped. So what gives??

I'm officially on the hunt to get me some Melinda. I'm not really sure where to look, but I'm officially searching. If anyone has seen Melinda or knows of her whereabouts, contact me immediately. And Melinda, if you're reading this, I humbly beseech you to come out of hiding and wow the world with your impressive vocal chops. I can only imagine that your public absence is because Jordin Sparks is keeping you locked up in her basement in fear of your album sales outshining hers. Dont you worry...I'm gonna get you outta there and back in the spotlight where you belong. And so the search begins....

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Wanted: Melinda Doolittle

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